feedback for Katie

I thought your paper was amazing. It was thorough, well-written, and made me interested in something that I never would have cared about otherwise. It flowed really well while still staying in the realm of an academic paper, and the language was perfect. I can tell that you really tried hard to research everything and get as much data as possible to make a good paper. The amount of work you put in is astounding, and I'm in awe.

One thing you could work on, though you don't really have to, is the length of certain sections, especially in the beginning. Your introduction is very good, but it might explain the topic just a little too thoroughly. There are one or two paragraphs that I think you could cut out, like the one about perfectionists' level of self-esteem coming from meeting expectations and avoiding failure. It's pretty short anyway, and doesn't add a ton to the paper overall. The paragraph right after that one could also be cut if you feel it's necessary. The Data Analysis section of your paper could also be cut down some. It's really thorough, which is good, but I think it would help if it was a little shorter.

One thing you could go a little longer with is your implications section. Just try and elaborate on your thoughts a little bit more to get a really substantial paragraph. Other than those things, this paper was awesome. You're super hard working and dedicated, and it really shows in this paper.