Hey, Brooklyn! First off, your paper was so well-written! I couldn't find any spelling mistakes, so well done :). There were some sentences that were a little unclear (and maybe a couple formatting issues ;) ), but overall, I loved reading your paper! I especially loved the intro and the data analysis!
Your abstract was also top-notch. I think you really covered all the necessary information. A few suggestions, however: First, I'd clarify how these findings could impact thought processes and university teachings, and what new side of society the findings reveal. Second -- and this is throughout your whole paper -- I'd make sure that whenever you say something about how "modern technology affects conformity," you make sure to include "today's world of" before, just so people don't expect you to measure the participants' technology use.
Also, look on the notes I made on page 4 and 1 -- on page 4, you said that there were 5 confederates and 1 participant, and on page 1, you said that there were 4 confederates and 1 participant.
Finally, under your procedure section in the methods section, maybe make it clearer that you did 5 trials per 1 participant, and include how many times you repeated the trials (aka how many participants you had). Also, side note: I think he may have said something about including captions for your graphs instead of headings, but you might have to check back with him about that.
Other than some of those clarity confusions, I couldn't really find anything wrong! Your headings were on point, and other than your computer's stupidity, the rest of your formatting was awesome, too! I loved your tables, and you did a great job in the discussion section -- especially when talking about implications (I loved how you tied your study back to World War 2 and Asch's study). Of course, you might want to read over it again to see if you can improve any word choice/flow/etc. before turning it in, but I couldn't see any glaring issues. Like, at all.
Hey, Brooklyn!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, your paper was so well-written! I couldn't find any spelling mistakes, so well done :). There were some sentences that were a little unclear (and maybe a couple formatting issues ;) ), but overall, I loved reading your paper! I especially loved the intro and the data analysis!
Your abstract was also top-notch. I think you really covered all the necessary information. A few suggestions, however: First, I'd clarify how these findings could impact thought processes and university teachings, and what new side of society the findings reveal. Second -- and this is throughout your whole paper -- I'd make sure that whenever you say something about how "modern technology affects conformity," you make sure to include "today's world of" before, just so people don't expect you to measure the participants' technology use.
Also, look on the notes I made on page 4 and 1 -- on page 4, you said that there were 5 confederates and 1 participant, and on page 1, you said that there were 4 confederates and 1 participant.
Finally, under your procedure section in the methods section, maybe make it clearer that you did 5 trials per 1 participant, and include how many times you repeated the trials (aka how many participants you had). Also, side note: I think he may have said something about including captions for your graphs instead of headings, but you might have to check back with him about that.
Other than some of those clarity confusions, I couldn't really find anything wrong! Your headings were on point, and other than your computer's stupidity, the rest of your formatting was awesome, too! I loved your tables, and you did a great job in the discussion section -- especially when talking about implications (I loved how you tied your study back to World War 2 and Asch's study). Of course, you might want to read over it again to see if you can improve any word choice/flow/etc. before turning it in, but I couldn't see any glaring issues. Like, at all.
Great job!
Katie